We finally got on the road. Frank slept in the backseat, leaving me to maneuver through construction traffic. I suck at driving 5 mph! After like a half hour of driving 5 to 10 mph, I was just about ready to rear end people to get them out of my way so I could drive faster!
I took a scenic "longcut", meaning I turned off an exit too soon and had no clue how to get from point A to point B. Frank decided to navigate from the backseat because, as we women know, men think they always know best. He was talking like a drunk due to not yet having his caffeine fix. "Turn right at the stop light, it'll take us right where we need to be" he says (or more accurately, slurs) from the backseat. "Have you been here before?" No, he says. He just knows we should turn. I really felt that continuing straight would get us there but he insisted. Ten minutes later I turn left and find our destination - which we would've already found had I continued going straight.
He points to the mall and says, "See that spaceship? As a kid, I always wanted to figure out how to get in it. You guys go do your shopping stuff and I'm gonna get coffee and figure out how to get in it." then laughs hysterically. The man isn't right in the head without caffeine.
Jess headed to her favorite store in the whole world - Forever 21. I was curious to see what all the hype was about so I went in and browsed. It was like a giant yard sale only with new clothing instead of used. Most of it looked like something a grandmother would wear. I commented on it and she said, "Uh, well they've changed a lot since I was here." Hmm.
I left her there and took Kaylee to Claires. This crazy child had got on their website and made a giant list of things she wanted to look for. After 15 minutes Frank and I got tired of standing around so we left her and headed to the food court. I know, I know. I left her in the mall by herself. Bad parenting. Kidnappers would end up not being able to locate her "off" switch and returning her anyway. (She never stops speaking. Never!) By this time it's like 2:30 and I haven't eaten yet. As we debate dinner plans, Kaylee comes back with a bag full of junk. She dropped 40 bucks on a notebook, a bracelet, a ring, and a necklace. It was her birthday money to spend as she pleased, but still yet, I nearly fainted. She ended up having buyer's remorse and decided to take a few things back.
She comes back a few minutes later shaking her head. She said they gave her a gift card rather than cash. We kept offering to take her back down there and get her cash but she said no. Frank finally made her go with him. Turns out she could have gotten cash back if she'd came and got us so we could show a drivers license. We never did figure out why she was dishonest with us. She came close to tears but I reminded her that if she ruined Jess's birthday trip, Jess would be allowed to choose the punishment. The tears dried instantly. It was a miracle!
Frank's work called my phone and I panicked, thinking I wrote his schedule on the calendar wrong and that he missed work. He called them back and ended up agreeing to go into work on his day off. Helloooo?? We are 2 1/2 hrs away from home???? We had to cut the day short, but made 1 more stop to drive go karts.
See the look on her face? She clearly knows about Frank's driving!
If you'll look closely, you'll note that JESS is in the lead, not that Frank would admit it.
I'm not really sure what a parrot has to do with go karts but they had one there. Even though it didn't talk, the girls thought it was hilarious.
A trip to St. Louis wouldn't be complete without White Castle so we went through the drive thru and got a
big sack of them on the way home. It's good we don't have one around here, otherwise I'd have serious weight, cholesterol, and wallet issues. Well, I'm already working on all of those problems but White Castle would make it worse!
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