Pizza Sauce, Cookies, and Needles

Yesterday I momentarily lost my mind. In yet another fit of insanity I bought an external flash. I literally snuck out the door when everyone was distracted and tiptoed to the truck. I peeled out of the driveway in a panicked effort to get out before someone caught me and said, "I wanna go!". I wanted to go alone because I didn't want to explain myself to anyone or have them question my sanity.

The funny thing? I've taken a billion photos today and no one has noticed the giant thing sticking out from the top of it. It's kinda hard to miss, especially since I normally don't use a flash at all. I just walked around taking random photos because my new flash is SO FREAKING COOL!

Today started out with 2 of my children driving me batty. Just the mere sound of their voices made me want to scream. Arguing, bickering, trashing the kitchen, complaining. Then Ethan somehow got it in his head that he wanted to make sugar cookies. Knowing his track record in the kitchen, I told him no way. He begged 5,732 more times. Each time I said no. He finally gave up.

But wouldn't you know it, he got the idea of cookies stuck in my head. I knew I couldn't give into him because it'd be teaching him that begging will get him what he wants. It was around that time when Kaylee lost her embroidery needle. By "hers" I actually mean "mine". This is the billionth of my needles she's lost and I told her she's not getting anymore. Then the lightbulb went off and I had a rare moment of brilliance. I happened to have white chocolate chips that needed to be used. That's totally different than sugar cookies, right? I told Ethan if he found Kaylee's needle he could make white chocolate chip cookies. He countered with, "No, let me make sugar cookies." I told him forget it. He quickly agreed to my way.

I never dreamed he'd find it. This is a kid who couldn't find the toaster because I moved it to the other side of the counter (true story!). He ended up flipping the chair over and sticking his head in the hole (yeah, we need new furniture) to find it. At one point he muttered, "I wonder if there are any rats in here?"

Then he found it. He squealed. He jumped up and down. He held it in my face and gloated. He carried it around like it was a rare gem. I had no choice but to allow him in my kitchen to destroy it.

Please ignore my son's afro. He REFUSES to get his hair cut. He has a strange phobia.

I gotta say, other than not knowing how to use a mixer, he did a decent job. Hell must have frozen over because he didn't really make a mess. I was shocked.

Luckily his little sister was willing to show him how to use the mixer properly so he could avoid a beating. (JUST KIDDING. I don't beat my kids. I lecture them - trust me, it's a much better punishment.)

This kid is such a "comedian". He pulls out the last egg from the fridge, pretends to trip and says, "Whoa, I better be careful! This is the last egg." Then proceeds to toss it up in the air.

The cookies turned out great. So great, in fact, that I ate 3. He, of course, had to complain about them. "I screwed them up. They're too hard and flat. I like soft cookies." The boy is never happy.

 I've put off canning the tomatoes long enough. I had no more excuses other than, "But I don't WANT to!" so I did it. I made 12 half pint jars of pizza sauce. 




Just ignore the random flip flop. They're scattered all over the house. Also ignore the dirty floor. I just can't keep the floor clean around here. Maybe because I'm always in the dang kitchen?

When I went out to get the tomatoes I found the ducks checking out the koi pond. I love how they cocked their heads at me as if to say, "Hey lady, how the heck do we get in this thing?" They never did figure it out. They're not too bright.

I have a confession to make. I cheated and used this:

 I felt like such a...cheater. I can't even call this sauce "homemade" now. The sad thing is I need to do it again tomorrow, only salsa instead of pizza sauce. Then maybe one more batch of spaghetti sauce...then maybe we can just have a tomato fight with the rest. Or maybe Frank can sing and we can pelt him with tomatoes. Or maybe have a tomato eating contest.

Here are some leftovers from last summer and some new stuff from this summer. I need a bigger cabinet.

This is completely random, but here is an example of my awesome new flash. 

BEFORE:

Look how flat and gross this is. (The photo, Kaylee. Not you. You're not flat and gross, I promise.)

Now, the AFTER:

Ignore her half painted nails.

The colors are still off and it's not perfect, but this is straight out of the camera, with absolutely zero editing. Not bad! I can't tell you enough how horrible the lighting is in this house. Have I ever mentioned that?? Now I just need someone to give me about 50 bucks so I can by a wireless remote flash trigger and a softbox.

Things I learned today:

1. Don't wait until the temperature reaches 106 and then decide it's time to pick 25 lbs. of tomatoes.

2. Kaylee notices me in the midst of a hot flash and says, "Mom, your face looks kind of...dewey! You know, like morning dew? You have like little drops of sweat all over your face." Thanks, Kaylee. Good to know I have a "dewey face".

That's actually it! There were no kitchen disasters today and I didn't have any major "dumb" moments. There's a first time for everything.